Vulnerable narcissism is the less glamorous, less attention-seeking, and less self-promotional form of narcissism. Vulnerable narcissism is seen more often in psychotherapy than in politics or toxic romantic relationships. Our politicians and toxic ex-partners tend to display more grandiose narcissism.
Vulnerable narcissism often presents as depression, self-consciousness, or anxiety, but without much interpersonal warmth. Vulnerable narcissism also includes some antagonism and self-centeredness. The grandiosity in vulnerable narcissism is more unstable and internal—you see more grandiose fantasies than overt status-seeking behavior. For this reason, vulnerable narcissism is sometimes referred to as covert narcissism because it is hidden. Here is a good description of vulnerable (aka covert, vulnerable-sensitive, hypersensitive, shy, etc.) narcissism from Wink (1991):
The second form of narcissism, covert narcissism, is marked by largely unconscious feelings of grandeur and openly displayed lack of self-confidence and initiative, vague feelings of depression, and an absence of zest for work (narcissistic deficiency). Covertly narcissistic individuals appear to be hypersensitive, anxious, timid, and insecure, but on close contact surprise observers with their grandiose fantasies (Kernberg, 1986). Moreover, they share with the overt narcissists those narcissistic characteristics, such as exploitativeness and a sense of entitlement, whose expression does not depend on interpersonal style.
I began The New Science of Narcissism with the story of killer Elliot Rodger because he exemplified vulnerable narcissism touched with grandiosity. This seemed more culturally relevant than the Reality TV style grandiosity of the early 2000s. Rodger spent a lot of time gaming online; he envied his peers who could get dates, and fantasized about being socially popular. In reality, he was a reasonably good-looking young man from a well-to-do household who should have done fine socially if he had built more social confidence and experience. But instead, he ended up carrying out a spree killing in Isla Vista, California.
Rodger’s character is reminiscent of Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal of the Joker (2019). The movie depicts an inverted hero’s journey, where a vulnerable narcissist ultimately actualizes his grandiose fantasies through violence. Similarly, in his manifesto, Rodger wrote:
After I picked up the handgun, I brought it back to my room and felt a new sense of power. I was now armed. Who’s the alpha male now, bitches? I thought to myself, regarding all of the girls who’ve looked down on me in the past. I quickly admired my new weapon before locking it up in my safe and preparing to go back to my hometown for the winter break.
As this example shows, with vulnerable narcissism, there is a lot of internal drama and dialogue about being powerful, special, and important, but not much action — Rodger and the Joker are cases where the covert narcissism becomes overt — “Who’s the alpha male now, bitches?” But most of the time vulnerable narcissism stays hidden.
A clinician once explained covert narcissism to me in a compelling way. He said that some patients seemed depressed or anxious—just your typical neuroticism. But when you dug a little deeper, you’d find narcissism lurking underneath. Their depression wasn’t just general sadness; it was because no one appreciated how great, important, special, or brilliant they were. The narcissism was hidden because it remained largely in fantasy.
In contrast, with a typical grandiose narcissist, you’ll hear about their accomplishments as soon as they can reasonably insert them into a conversation. Grandiose narcissism is overt; vulnerable narcissism is covert.
The distinction between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism has a rich clinical and research history. Clinically, this divide has been long recognized, and in empirical research, Paul Wink highlighted the distinction the early 1990s. Before that time, we had a handful of narcissism measures, but they did not all correlate. That was a bad sign and suggested, correctly, that we were using the term “narcissism” to describe at least two different things (this is known as the jangle fallacy in psychology, which I often confuse with the jingle fallacy).
The first commonly used measure of vulnerable narcissism was the Hypersensitive Narcissism Scale (HSNS), published by Hendin and Cheek in 1997. The history of this scale is interesting because it was derived in part from Henry Murray’s original narcism scale in Explorations in Personality (1938). (Note: narcism is an old term for narcissism; the title of my Substack comes from this classic work.)
The HSNS has been widely used for decades and includes items such as:
I am secretly "put out" or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for my time and sympathy.
I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.
I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.
My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.
Traditionally, researchers have treated vulnerable narcissism as a single construct, meaning they don’t break it down into subfactors or facets. However, a recent paper by some excellent German and Swiss psychologists sought to break the Hypersensitive Narcissism Scale down into two key components: egocentrism, which includes thinking you’re important and spending a lot of time thinking about yourself, and oversensitivity, which includes being easily threatened by small criticisms and feeling slighted when others don’t notice or respect you. A good shorthand for this is being thin-skinned.
These subfactors of egocentrism and oversensitivity align well with what we already know about narcissism. Vulnerable and grandiose narcissism are distinct. They relate differently to other important psychological variables—or, as personality psychologists say, they have different nomological networks. Grandiose narcissism correlates with higher self-esteem, more positive affect, and greater self-confidence. Vulnerable narcissism correlates with lower self-esteem, lower self-confidence, and higher depression.
Even childhood environments differ. Grandiose narcissists are more likely to report permissive parenting or being treated as a "special child," while vulnerable narcissists tend to report colder, more abusive, or neglectful parenting. Vulnerable narcissism also seems more pathologically distressing.
That said, people can score high in both grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. Some individuals are outwardly confident and dominant but also thin-skinned, defensive, and petty. Take Donald Trump. For better or worse, one of his defining personality traits is his thin-skinned nature. While his profile is primarily grandiose (with extreme extraversion), he can be rattled by criticism as was seen in the debates. Gavin Newsom, on the other hand, is more classically cold-blooded and psychopathic. Trump lashes out like a wounded bull when threated whereas Newsom weaves like a serpent.
Vulnerable narcissism presents a unique challenge. Since it overlaps with negative affectivity—low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety—vulnerable narcissists can end up in therapy. But treatment will be more challenging than typical neuroticism because of the self-centeredness, antagonism, and self-importance.
There is no gold standard clinical trial revealing the ideal treatment for vulnerable narcissism once it reaches a clinical level. A recent review paper found that therapists with experience tended toward using more psychodynamic, insight based talk therapy, but some other approaches were used as well.
A somewhat unusual solution to vulnerable narcissism comes from a Jungian interpretation of the Narcissus myth. I remember reading one such take in the library stacks at the University of Wisconsin. I cannot guarantee accuracy after 40 years, but it was interesting enough to mention. In the myth, Narcissus drowns and is ultimately reborn as a daylily or narcissus flower. A Jungian interpretation suggested that self-love was not only the cause of Narcissus’ death, self-love was also a potential solution to his problem.
This doesn't make much sense for grandiose narcissism but for vulnerable narcissism, there might be a kernel of truth here. The idea would be for the individual to substitute grandiose fantasies about being a “real alpha male” with well-grounded and less inflated self-regard.
For example, instead of staying indoors gaming and daydreaming about being important, a vulnerable narcissist might build a self that they can have some honest pride in. This might mean getting physically fit through improved diet and exercise. Or it might mean building authentic self-confidence through real achievements, whether they be in a hobby, or doing well at work, or volunteering in the community. Finally, it might mean learning how to build healthy relationships with others. I think customer service work is a great way to learn to speak with people, but any social activity that provides practice at interacting with others can be helpful.
The hope is that, over time, authentic pride may start replacing hubris or fantasies of greatness. You end up feeling pretty good about yourself and what you are able to accomplish. Instead of feeling separated from others in your vainglory, you feel connected to a group of friends. Slowly the envy, resentment, and hostility recede and are replaced by contentment and connection.
At least, that makes sense in theory.
Some Citations
Hendin, H. M., & Cheek, J. M. (1997). Assessing hypersensitive narcissism: A reexamination of Murray's Narcism Scale. Journal of research in personality, 31(4), 588-599.
Schneider, S., Spormann, S. S., Morf, C. C., Back, M. D., Mokros, A., & Jauk, E. (2025). The Hypersensitive Narcissism Scale: Updated and extended construct validation in community samples using a newly constructed German version. Psychological Assessment, 37(1-2), 17–32.
Miller, J. D., Hoffman, B. J., Gaughan, E. T., Gentile, B., Maples, J., & Keith Campbell, W. (2011). Grandiose and vulnerable narcissism: A nomological network analysis. Journal of personality, 79(5), 1013-1042.
Wink, P. (1991). Two faces of narcissism. Journal of personality and social psychology, 61(4), 590-579.
Campbell, W. K., & Crist, C. (2020). The new science of narcissism: Understanding one of the greatest psychological challenges of our time—and what you can do about it. Sounds True: Boulder.
Murray, H.A. (1938). Explorations in personality. Oxford Univ. Press.
The Rodger Manifesto.
Kealy, D., Goodman, G., Rasmussen, B., Weideman, R., & Ogrodniczuk, J. S. (2017). Therapists’ perspectives on optimal treatment for pathological narcissism. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 8(1), 35-45.
Thanks for this. In addition to ‘The New Science of Narcissism’, Im a fan of Alexander Lowen’s book ‘denial of the true self’. His version i think maps onto something youre saying: that authentic pride or self esteem based on real qualities is replaced in narcissism by what Lowen calls an ‘image’ or a false self.
Remember that book "The Highly Sensitive Person" (HSP)?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/202302/is-the-highly-sensitive-person-really-a-narcissist-at-heart#:~:text=The%20overlap%20between%20the%20HSP's,I%20am%20temperamentally%20different%20from